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Tweets by attnemployeesHistory we’re doomed to repeat
- August 2011 (6)
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- May 2011 (18)
- April 2011 (21)
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- February 2011 (20)
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- December 2010 (14)
Monthly Archives: January 2011
Cubammock™ brand cubicle hammocks are delightful
(A special offer for A!E readers) Deadlines! Competing priorities! Widespread incompetence! If the stress and hassle of workaday life have you in a rut, get back into the swing of things with a Cubammock™ brand cubicle hammock.
About the “Spelling C*nts” t-shirts
Some of you have asked about the “Spelling C*nts” t-shirts being worn by our company’s nationally-ranked spelling team, Spellbound & Gagged. The answer is a combination of inadequate attention to detail when the team’s captain reviewed a pre-press proof, and … Continue reading
Employee Profile: Ann Kisco
Ann, a Special Events Coordinator, comes from a long line of professional event planners. Her great grandfather, Irvin “Lampshade” Kisco was the first person to use free booze as a gimmick to get people excited about corporate events. Her grandmother, … Continue reading
Generating our electricity with literal people power
Our people are our most valuable resource, but, paradoxically, they’re also our greatest drain on resources. As you may know, an incredible quantity of energy is consumed powering the electronics you use to do your work, as well as to … Continue reading
Racist laments spellcheck’s inability to correct slurs
Ron Tilks, an accountant/racist, was “embarrassed beyond belief” when he mistakenly sent an email with a racial epithet spelled incorrectly. “I look like an idiot,” Ron whined.
“Weekend hangover” is usually just a hangover
The so-called “weekend hangover,” a phrase commonly used to describe the general malaise that accompanies Monday morning’s return to the office after a weekend of pleasurable recreation, is seldom accurately applied. Studies suggest that in 7 out of 10 employee … Continue reading
#1 use of handicap bathrooms: Coitus
On a list of “most frequent users of handicap bathrooms” released earlier this week, “Illicit lovers” come in at #1, followed by “newspaper readers” and “masturbators.”
Employee Profile: Jack Chancellor
Jack “No Pants” Chancellor, a Data Entry Supervisor, has spent more than 30 years working a desk in our Data Entry unit. In that time he’s seen computers replace the typewriter, and stoned actors and comedian temp workers replace the … Continue reading
“Management Braining” mistakenly communicated
Due to an editorial oversight, an email invitation to a training session distributed late last week mistakenly included the phrase “Management Braining” throughout. While we’re pleased with the response (87% RSVPd “yes”), it seems prudent to clarify: The session will … Continue reading
Nodding during meetings down 89%
Troubling news from our project managers: Head nodding at meetings, long known to signify a veneer of interest, is down 89% compared to last quarter: The blank stare experienced a 64% growth during the same time period, accounting for the … Continue reading
Attention!Employees 