Tag Archives: corrections

Safety is clearly not our top priority

Safety is important, but an intellectually honest examination of organization-wide objectives shows that it’s nowhere near our top priority.  Senior executives from 100 of our business units were asked to name their number one priority, and the twenty most popular … Continue reading

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Christians mistakenly job-raptured

Your colleague Harold Camping was certain that the rapture, the global and instantaneous ascension of true Christian believers to heaven, was to take place this past Saturday. It did not. However, when you arrived at work this morning, you may … Continue reading

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Typo-caused “Intern pogrom” kills many

In the worst typo-related tragedy in the Company’s history, a flyer that incorrectly announced the start of our “Spring Intern Pogrom” resulted in the deaths of 247 interns and injured 782 more. The flyer was supposed to generate excitement about … Continue reading

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About the “Spelling C*nts” t-shirts

Some of you have asked about the “Spelling C*nts” t-shirts being worn by our company’s nationally-ranked spelling team, Spellbound & Gagged. The answer is a combination of inadequate attention to detail when the team’s captain reviewed a pre-press proof, and … Continue reading

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“Management Braining” mistakenly communicated

Due to an editorial oversight, an email invitation to a training session distributed late last week mistakenly included the phrase “Management Braining” throughout. While we’re pleased with the response (87% RSVPd “yes”), it seems prudent to clarify: The session will … Continue reading

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