Monthly Archives: May 2011

Gullible employee fooled (re: Mad Men/Cosby Show)

Lane Thatcher has been a Customer Service Specialist for 10 years, and for nine of them he’s been seated next to Customer Service Specialist Bryan Eichmann.  Over the years, Bryan has taken great pleasure in regularly fooling the extremely gullible Lane. … Continue reading

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Firings this week: Memorial Day edition

On Memorial Day we pause to honor those that lost their lives in military combat, and to get a little drunk during the day at BBQs. On the battlefield that is the modern office, not all of your colleagues will … Continue reading

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VOTE: What’s your resignation fantasy?

In your rich internal world, you’ve probably constructed a number of vignettes wherein you work up the nerve to quit your job in a bridge-burning blaze of glory. Actions speak louder than words, and any of the options in this … Continue reading

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Christians mistakenly job-raptured

Your colleague Harold Camping was certain that the rapture, the global and instantaneous ascension of true Christian believers to heaven, was to take place this past Saturday. It did not. However, when you arrived at work this morning, you may … Continue reading

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Sex sells, sexual harassment litigates

Our Legal department has asked that you be mindful that sexual harassment comes in many forms. For example, this newsletter could turn harassing at any moment. “You there,” it could purr. “You there with the bosoms.” Then it could lick … Continue reading

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More on the 101% budget cuts

As mentioned yesterday, certain underperforming business units will notice a 101% budget cut in the coming fiscal year. Below you’ll find a list of the business units that will be defunded like a girl on prom night (if “girl” = … Continue reading

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Some budgets slashed by 101%

If you like punitive financial policies, you’re going to love the Company’s plan for the coming fiscal year: Budgets at some underperforming business units will be slashed by 101%. Since kittens make difficult news easier to process, the kitten-based policy description below … Continue reading

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