Summr tim, and the living’s asy

Du to tmporary budgt cuts that rquir us to stop using th lttr btwn “d” and “f,” th Attntion!mploys nwslttr will b offlin for th rmaindr of the summr.  It’s anticipatd that both th critical vowl and th nwslttr will rturn in th fall. Until thn, catch up on rcnt articls you may hav missd , most writtn bfor th alpha-cuts.

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged | Leave a comment

Work!Toons: Clipping your nails

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

Re: Clandestine changes made to your workspace in the night

If you’ve ever entered your workstation in the morning and thought, “Surely, someone has been messing with my stuff during the night,” you’ll be pleased and displeased to learn that you are correct. After the rest of the staff goes home for the day, and the cleaning team has made their rounds, a small army of micro-adjusters gets to work creating a condition known as “workplace confusion.” Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

The endless firings of summer

According to the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Association, this past July was the fourth hottest on record. Many employees have recently been told they will be no longer paid to take the heat, and they’ve been ejected from the kitchen that is the workplace. Read more below; there’s nothing like a cool glass of Schadenfreude-ade to beat the heat. Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Work!Toons: “Vaginacologist”

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

Let’s marry my idea with your effort

(Guest post from a colleague)  I have a huge idea. It might be game changing or even (dare I dream) paradigm shifting.  I’ll shoot you straight, though: It’s going to require a big commitment of your time and resources. The greatness of the idea is matched only by the amount of effort you’ll need to put in to accomplish my vision. Help me and your name will ring out in the songs history will sing about this idea. Also, would you write those songs for history to sing? Thanks. I’m swamped.

Marrying my idea with your effort will create the greatest union since peanut butter was first joined with jelly. I’m not immediately familiar with the details of your current day to day workload, but I assume you’re interested in taking on a substantial amount of extra work to help my idea come to fruition.  Because, let’s face it, this idea is huge. I’d start on it myself, but like I said, I’m real busy right now. Plus, I’m more of a big-picture-pie-in-the-blue-sky kind of guy. People like you have a better head for the details and actual labor of it all.

Look, I’m not your boss, so you can say no. I’d say yes, but that’s just the kind of guy I am. Hey, did you know your boss and I are friends? Yeah, we golf. We’re golfing this weekend, in fact. Yes, I’d like to say that you’re a real asset, always ready to jump in and support the team. You’d like me to say that too, wouldn’t you? That’s the spirit.

You can start by writing an idea summary memo for my supervisor. Try to write in my voice, which I describe a “CEO-caliber”, “promoteable” and “radical.” I’ll try and send you some bullet points outlining the idea when I get a chance, but I may need the summary memo before then. I’d give you some more specifics now, but I’m late for something else, good luck, and keep me posted.

[Photo: Day 115: Working late by madmolecule]

 

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , | Leave a comment

PrivaCEO executive privacy sack

(Special offer for A!E readers) The tasks of your job are hard enough without the distractions that come with office life. From yahoos talking about reality TV to superiors and underlings interrupting your concentration with asinine requests, the cards are stacked against you. Shut it all out with the PrivaCEO executive privacy sack, a sound proof sack you wear over your head.

Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment