Tag Archives: processes

Work from Hospice program considered

The dream of retirement, a reward for decades of dedicated labor and careful financial planning once taken for granted, is a dream that may prove elusive for most employees. As such, the Company is working hard to generate alternatives for … Continue reading

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Casino-inspired office redesigns coming soon

Federal law mandates that we honor one anonymous employee suggestion per month. This month’s randomly selected suggestion was submitted on a bar napkin, in crayon and said, “MAKE OUR OFFICES MORE LIKE CASINOS.” And so, in the coming months we’ll … Continue reading

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“Everything’s a Priority” to increase productivity

The Company has launched a new project management system called “Everything’s a Priority.” At the risk of hyperbolizing, it’s poised to revolutionize the way we work and may be better than all the major religions of the world combined. Starting … Continue reading

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Our new phone system: Whatever you’re using

Soon, your personal cell phone will transform into your work phone, at no cost to the Company. In a move senior management is calling “bold, fiscally prudent and a little draconian,” we’re cancelling our corporate telephone service, and will instead … Continue reading

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“Fire this person” button too popular

Due to multiple wrongful termination suits being brought against the Company, we’re removing the “Fire this person” button from employee profiles on WorkFace, our internal business collaboration network. In retrospect, the button should not have enabled employees to immediately cut … Continue reading

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Notes from our IT Department

Due to abuse by a few of you, the Reply All feature in our email client will be disabled for everyone until further notice. If you need to check a pornographic site while in the office, be sure to clandestinely … Continue reading

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Generating our electricity with literal people power

Our people are our most valuable resource, but, paradoxically, they’re also our greatest drain on resources. As you may know, an incredible quantity of energy is consumed powering the electronics you use to do your work, as well as to … Continue reading

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