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History we’re doomed to repeat
Accomplishing anything of merit may be more difficult than usual today, as the Company’s keys to success, were lost sometime Sunday afternoon. The keys had been entrusted to HR’s Phillip Hisey for safekeeping over the weekend; he believes they fell out of his pocket, “somewhere in the park, or at the movies, or when I was waterskiing.” He was quick to add, “They’re not in my couch, I’ve checked like 50 times.”
The Legal Department routinely meets at a local bar for team-building activities like drinking, karaoke and yet more drinking. At last night’s karaoke jam, Standards and Practices Manager Reginald Patterson shocked the crowd when he followed a colleague’s sedate performance of Butterfly Kisses with the hyper-aggressive Heirate Mich by German metal band Rammstein. The main lyric translates to “Marry me,” but the tone is more “let me kick you a lot, and FYI there’s a knife attached to my boot.” Continue reading
Rejoice, pet lovers, and revolt, allergy sufferers: Tuesday of this week is Bring Your Cats and Dogs to Work Day, when owners are invited to bring their canine and feline friends for a day of fun in a windowless conference room. Planned activities include the classic pet party game, “Please stop your dog from chewing my cat!” On Wednesday, we’ll solemnly celebrate Mourn Your Mauled Cats Day in the same windowless conference room. Continue reading
Safety is important, but an intellectually honest examination of organization-wide objectives shows that it’s nowhere near our top priority. Senior executives from 100 of our business units were asked to name their number one priority, and the twenty most popular responses appear below.