A study prepared jointly by IT and HR has revealed that Andrew Nalphistan has the most unintentionally offensive email address of all our employees, when using the standard “[first letter of first name].[last name]@[business unit].com” convention. It’s a dubious distinction, but one that’s not news to Andrew. It’s been a struggle, but he’s come to accept his evocative and crass nom du email over his tenure with the Company.
“I’ve asked for my address to be changed multiple times,” Andrew said. “But for one reason or another, the forms never went through. After seven years I’ve come to realize a less offensive email handle isn’t in the cards.” Gazing thoughtfully out the window of his third floor cubicle, he added, “I’ve made my peace. I came into this place a.nahlphistan, I’ll leave it a.nalphistan.”
Congratulations to the owners of the second and third most unintentionally offensive email addresses in the Company, Carol Untz and Amy Bortion.