Firings this week: Royal stupidity edition

As you may have heard despite the lack of media coverage, earlier this morning Prince William married Kate Middleton. Unlike many in the family’s history, the Prince wisely chose to marry someone further removed from the Royal bloodline than a first cousin. Inbreeding can lead to a host of problems, including lowered intelligence. Some of your former colleagues, whose recent firings are detailed below, may have more than a drop of “that kind” of Royal blood in their veins. God save the unintelligent employee!

Trent Cantrell: City Planner who hated his city

Many of you feel your jobs are pointless, but most of you have the good sense not to publically decry your employer. Trent Cantrell was a city planner in Lufkin, Texas, and comments he shared over social media give you a sense of the depth of his pride for Texas’ 76th largest city. “Lufkin is an armpit,” he tweeted in March. A few months earlier, while riding out a heat wave, he noted that even in cooler times “Deep East Texas will still be an [expletive deleted]hole.” It’s unclear whether he said “a**hole” or “sh*thole,” but you can rest assured that Trent, fired for his colorful commentary, now feels like one living in the other.  (Via The Houston Chronicle)

Keith Spencer: Cop stole from Goodwill, employed ghosts

Earlier this week a veteran of Marion County Indiana’s police department was fired amid allegations of “ghost employment and theft.” Ghost employment apparently refers not to the hiring of spirits, but to fabricating employees to collect their non-fabricated paychecks. As for the theft, well, that’s more straightforward: Keith decided that stereo speakers dropped off for a Goodwill charity drive would be better off in his home, so he took them there. Keith had previously worked in the forfeiture department for 10 years, so it seems appropriate that his actions have led to the forfeiture of his future. (Via

Two DC Metro Employees fired for leaving escalator hatch open

Two unnamed escalator technicians with Metro mass transit in Washington, DC lost their jobs as a result of an incident earlier this month. The technicians left an escalator access hatch open at the Pentagon station after performing maintenance on the escalator, and of course, someone fell in. The commuter sustained minor injuries, and officials still aren’t sure why the hatch was left open. Surely it was just a coincidence that this stupidity occurred on April 20. Note: The technicians were fired the day after their mistake, but news was just published this week. (Via The Washington Examiner)

Cameron Reilly: Doesn’t think much of Kate Middleton

The Royal Guards, they of the stone faces and ridiculous regal hats, are generally known for being unflappable. Thus it was somewhat surprising when Cameron Reilly, until recently a Guard, posted this assessment of Kate Middleton on his Facebook page: “Her and William drove past me on Friday and all I got was a sh-tty wave while she looked the opposite way from me, stupid, stuck up cow. Am I not good enough for them! Posh bitch.” Cameron clearly wasn’t satisfied with merely biting the hand that feeds him, he preferred to take a whiz on it. (Via Hollyscoop)


About attnemployeesadmin1

Attention!Employees is the employee newsletter for everyone, regardless of employer/employment status. Written by communications professional Jerome O. Gnome.
This entry was posted in Uncategorized and tagged . Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s