Be on your dankest behavior

It’s April 20 (i.e., “420”), and you may notice a slight uptick in glassy stares around the office today. In marijuana cultures, the number 420 has become a shorthand reference to all things cannabis. If this is news to you, go about your business as usual. If you knew this information, or nodded your head while reading and said/thought “niiiiiice,” please report to the large conference room on your floor for an unrelated urine test.

Marijuana enthusiasts like Jacob Franz don’t need a special day, time or occasion to puff the “sweet cheeba,” but he’s always looking for an excuse. “Celebratory bowls are great, and condolence bowls take the edge off,” he said, pausing to light a pipe carved out of an apple. “I also dig a wake and bake, [i.e., smoking in the morning] to start the day off right, and there’s nothing like a bowl before crawling into bed.” He paused before adding, “You’re not going to print any of that, are you?”

MANAGERS: If your subordinates tell you they’re going to a late afternoon meeting with a subject like “think tank hotbox” or “bong clearance rates,” you’re correct to assume they’re “pulling a Franz,” which means what you think it means.

SUBORDINATES: If you insist on smoking during business hours, please have the courtesy to invite the cubicle mates on your left hand side.  To do otherwise would be bunk, at best.

[Photo: My office, March 2008 by Travis Isaacs. Can you spot the bong? If so, head to the large conference room.]


About attnemployeesadmin1

Attention!Employees is the employee newsletter for everyone, regardless of employer/employment status. Written by communications professional Jerome O. Gnome.
This entry was posted in Uncategorized and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to Be on your dankest behavior

  1. Pingback: Firings this week: Royal stupidity edition | Attention!Employees

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s