Self-preservation is a primal instinct, and a critical skill for office survival. It’s self-preservation that compels us to say “Not it!” to unappealing tasks and “I’d better not” when presented with easy opportunities to defraud the Company. Like ants defending their queen, most employees will do anything to keep their jobs. Not all colleagues work this way. The ants (i.e., “employees”) below decided to sabotage the queen (i.e., “their jobs”), and this week tendered their resignations.
Henry Krakowski (FAA): Flying the drowsy skies
The Federal Aviation Administration accepted the resignation of Henry Krakowski, who was responsible for overseeing the federal air traffic control system. On Henry’s watch, five controllers had been suspended in the last two months for falling asleep on the job. It’s one thing for cubicle jockeys to sneak a few extra winks, but there’s usually negligible risk of jet-fuel based explosions when they nap on the job. “I am committed to maintaining the highest level of public confidence, and that begins with strong leadership,” said FAA Administrator Randy Babbitt. Despite his claim to support strong leadership, he did not tender his own resignation. (Via the Los Angeles Times)
Kyle Kvasnicka (Volleyball coach): A volley to serve time
California’s Concordia University Irvine accepted the resignation of Kyle Kvasnicka, who coached the women’s volleyball team. The coach was recently arrested for engaging in “sexually graphic communication with someone he believe to be an underage teen” in Colorado. Second-year assistant coach Jon Daze will assume duties as interim head coach, though it’s hoped he’ll neglect the “be a gross pedophile” bullet point that Kyle added to the job description. (Via Victory Sports Network)
Alan Saldanha (Canadian politician): Resigned to stupidity
Alan, a former Green party candidate in Surrey, resigned this week over a profoundly ill-chosen “favorite quote” on his Facebook profile: “If rape is inevitable, lie back and enjoy it!” Before you judge Alan too harshly, please realize that he claims the quote has been taken out of context. He didn’t provide the full context, but one can assume it involves some variation of “I was kicked in the head a lot as a child.” Alan’s defense of his actions in this article displays the same intelligence that got him in this mess. “Someone told me that Confucius [said it].” (Via the Vancouver Sun)
Kevin Easley (Dam boss): Just taking a better job
Lest you think this week’s resignations were all the result of dangerous dereliction of duty, pedophilia or rape-humor, enjoy this mellow news out of Vinita, Oklahoma. Grand River Dam boss Kevin Easley resigned earlier this week, citing a better job opportunity. Continuing the low-key vibe, he’s using two months of banked vacation time to ease his transition out of the job. (Via Tulsa World, which, according to a banner on its site is “the largest news staff in Northeastern Oklahoma.” They don’t specify if that’s by quantity or volume, but both are plausible).