If you think work has been a little more difficult lately, you’re not alone and it’s not your imagination. During routine maintenance late last week, HR accidentally cut the blue wire instead of the red one. They apologize for any inconvenience and the explosion of challenges you may be experiencing as a result of the error.
“You’re always supposed to cut the red wire; cutting the blue goes against everything HR stands for,” said HR Generalist Jacob McFadden. He’s referring to a line in the HRppocratic Oath, which all HR practitioners swear to uphold: “I will prescribe and enforce policies for the good of our employees according to my ability and never do harm to anyone, and I’ll never cut the blue wire, as doing so would cause a certain sh*tstorm.”
There’s a slim chance that things are so rough at the moment as a result of someone betting on red, despite Wesley Snipes’ mandate to that we’re always to bet on black.