Our new phone system: Whatever you’re using

Soon, your personal cell phone will transform into your work phone, at no cost to the Company. In a move senior management is calling “bold, fiscally prudent and a little draconian,” we’re cancelling our corporate telephone service, and will instead require you to use your personal cell phone for all business calls. It’s our most versatile telephony solution ever: Verizon, Sprint/Nextel, AT&T…it doesn’t matter if you’re using tin cans attached by string, if you’re paying for it, it’s compatible.

Notes on the new “Whatever you’re using” plan:

  • You’re encouraged to maximize free night and weekend minutes by conducting business calls on nights and weekends
  • The workday will extend by 15 minutes to accommodate increased time spent saying “I can hear you, can you hear me?”
  • Your monthly cell phone bill, like all expenses at this time, is not reimbursable.
  • Any ringtone based on a current or previous Top 40 song will be grounds for immediate termination
  • If you don’t have a cell phone, you’ll be given a sack of quarters to use at the payphone across the street (please do not use the quarters for laundry)

If you’d like to weigh in on the new system, please do so below. The Company can hear you now.

[Photo: Cell Phone by JonJon2k8, via Flickr’s Creative Commons License]

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About attnemployeesadmin1

Attention!Employees is the employee newsletter for everyone, regardless of employer/employment status. Written by communications professional Jerome O. Gnome.
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One Response to Our new phone system: Whatever you’re using

  1. Pingback: Casino-inspired office redesigns coming soon | Attention!Employees

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