Stance on necessity of employee hand washing reversed

Since time immemorial, “employees must wash hands” has been the law of the work-land. Effective today, the mandate has been reversed: From now on, employees must NOT wash hands. 

It’s expected that the decrease in hand washing will initially lead to an increase in sick days. Over time this will weed out the weak and strengthen the immune systems of the survivors. We firmly believe those of you that make it through the coming months will reach new levels of productivity. As a bonus, over the course of a year you’ll regain almost a full business day in time previously spent washing your hands at work.

[Photo: Year 2 – Day 087 – Cough by pinkanglebabe, via Flickr’s Creative Commons License]

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About attnemployeesadmin1

Attention!Employees is the employee newsletter for everyone, regardless of employer/employment status. Written by communications professional Jerome O. Gnome.
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One Response to Stance on necessity of employee hand washing reversed

  1. Pingback: Re: Jesus and our hand washing policy | Attention!Employees

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