We didn’t think you’d keep up your end of the bargain, but you did: Four consecutive quarters without a major sexual harassment or racial discrimination case brought against the Company. A deal is a deal, so it looks like we’re getting a dog. Busses will depart for the local pound at 3:00 p.m. on Friday, and the dog with the waggliest tail will join our team.
Employees with last names A-M will handle walking and feeding on Mondays and Wednesdays, those with N-Z will cover Tuesdays and Thursdays, and a lottery will be held each Friday to determine which lucky employee will care for the dog all day Friday and through the weekend.
“A good dog is not unlike a good employee,” said Legal’s JP MacHale, “well-groomed, housetrained, obedient and loyal.” As the Company guides you with a firm but gentle discipline, we have faith you’ll care for our new dog in a similar fashion. Who’s a good employee? You’re a good employee!