Poll: Which holiday gets the axe?

Company-wide holidays promote rest and rejuvenation, but unfortunately they also seriously damage our bottom line. According to Finance’s Colin Hooper, each day our locations are closed we forfeit “a f*ck-ton of money” in lost revenue. In a major cost-cutting effort, starting next year we’ll have one fewer official days off. Your assistance is requested to help us determine which day off will go from “fun” to “fungible.”

“Last year we decided to observe three additional holidays in an effort to revive morale and placate employees after a round of mass layoffs,” said HR’s Amanda Koh. The effort worked. However, one of the holidays must now be removed in an effort to prevent further mass layoffs.

The traditional holidays (e.g., Christmas, Thanksgiving) are safe at this time, as the cut will come from one of the three holidays added last year:

Some Years This is February 29th Day

  • Self-explanatory, observed February 29 or March 1

Jesus’s Half Birthday

  • While some claim this is just a gimmick to get people to spend more during the summer months, true believers know Jesus would want you to get yourself a little something on or about June 25

Flava Day

  • Celebrates the day in 2004 Flava Flav became, for a brief time, relevant once again

Please weigh in via the poll, or in the comments below. Be sure to send this on to your colleagues so that their voices may go into the void be heard as well!

[Photo: empty office by moofbong, via Flickr’s Creative Commons License]

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About attnemployeesadmin1

Attention!Employees is the employee newsletter for everyone, regardless of employer/employment status. Written by communications professional Jerome O. Gnome.
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One Response to Poll: Which holiday gets the axe?

  1. Don’t you take away Flava Day — everyone said Never Forget and we meant it, dammit.

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