If you’re new to the Attention!Employees fold, welcome, and thank you for joining us. For your time and attention, you’ll each receive a small bonus in this coming week’s paycheck. If for some reason the bonus is not included, please direct any questions to your local Finance department.
As a reminder, every time you refer a coworker to this newsletter (via the sharing links below or perhaps an email that says “I peed a little reading this, check it out!”) you’ll earn an additional day of paid time off (PTO). If that coworker in turn refers another coworker (“My friend peed a little after reading this, and then I did too! OMP!”), you’ll both receive an extra day of PTO. This quasi-pyramid scheme is our way of saying thanks.
To take advantage of any bonus PTO you accrue, simply show this post to your direct manager or local HR representative. If they suggest they don’t know what you’re talking about, please be advised it’s only a ruse to get you to sacrifice the additional PTO you’ve accumulated. Be persistent.