A recently commissioned study found that as many as eight out of 10 of you routinely anthropomorphize the multifunction printer on your floor. This coping technique is infinitely cheaper than replacing the constantly malfunctioning units with more reliable models, and is encouraged.
The personality most commonly assigned to the otherwise mundane artifact of office life is that of a cartoonish supervillian. As the top-loading document feeder jams for the umpteenth time, it’s all too easy to imagine the machine twirling an evil, well-waxed mustache.
When it claims it’s out of paper despite the fact you just filled its gaping maw of a tray, it’s not difficult to envision the printer standing over a woman tied to a train track, again twirling its mustache, despite the lack of arms and mustache.
Popular names assigned include
- Sucks McCopy
- Baron VonMimeograph
- Toner Loc
- “You f*cking piece of f*ck….F*CK!”
- Dr. Documento
- The Duplicitous and Nefarious P.C. Lohdlehter