Updates from our Legal Department

  • Our random drug testing program has been suspended, to be replaced with a random drugging program. If approached, you can consent, or decline and acknowledge that the label “SQUARE” will be affixed to your personnel file.
  • Please familiarize yourself with our updated records retention policy. For the foreseeable future the plan is to store business critical documents in your garage and/or basement.
  • If senior management asks you to do something illegal, just do it. If you don’t, we’ll find someone else who will. If that sounds like a threat, that’s because it is!
  • As a reminder, duels are an acceptable form of conflict resolution only if initiated with a slap.

[Photo: Legal research by gwilmore, via Flickr’s Creative Commons License]

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About attnemployeesadmin1

Attention!Employees is the employee newsletter for everyone, regardless of employer/employment status. Written by communications professional Jerome O. Gnome.
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