Despite years of dedicated service, Raquel Ugliaro can’t seem to get to the next level. It turns out her prosthetic eye, needed after a tragic corking incident during a champagne toast, is as much to blame as sexism and her reproductive organs.
“I’d promote her, but she took time off to start a family, and I’m not sure she’s as seasoned as some of her male colleagues,” division SVP Larry Kwiat noted. “Plus, there’s the eye. No thank you.”
When it was pointed out that at least one male employee on the executive floor has an eyepatch, Kwiat became visibly annoyed. “Look, the eyepatch is cool, like I’ve got a pirate working for me.”