Retirement plan phased out, replaced with multivitamin

We recently ran the numbers, and our current retirement plan will bankrupt us in no time. It’s tempting to blame the aging workforce, but like their now useless reproductive systems, fruitless.

Instead of the plan historically enjoyed by your father, and his father, moving forward you’ll receive a bi-weekly multivitamin to promote health in old age, if not wealth. The multivitamins are habit-forming nutrient rich, and may give you all the energy you need to never stop working. Thank you in advance for your decades of continued service!

[Photo: Senior Retirement Living – Community Clubhouse Lobby by Mesa Royale, via Flickr’s Creative Commons License]

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About attnemployeesadmin1

Attention!Employees is the employee newsletter for everyone, regardless of employer/employment status. Written by communications professional Jerome O. Gnome.
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One Response to Retirement plan phased out, replaced with multivitamin

  1. Pingback: Work from Hospice program considered | Attention!Employees

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