It’s not your imagination: The building has been testing its fire alarms around the clock for the past few months. “Oh, come on,” six separate people on your floor simultaneously cried out as the alarms chirped, chimed and wailed for the 10th time in as many minutes yesterday.
“Yeah, the alarms worked a minute ago,” Fire Safety Warden Alfonse Nesvig said, before staring blankly for a solid minute. “Better check them again.” Nesvig then pushed a big button that said “System Test,” next to which stood a sign that read “ALWAYS PUSH THE BUTTON.” The alarms are disruptive, and given the choice the vast majority of you would prefer to die in a fire. Thanks to the vigilance of our fire safety teams, that will never happen.